What is it about rich people? The smaller the city, the more odious and flagrant the wealthy people become. Here in Denver, we've got what Greenwood Village (read: fake suburb) "City" Manager Jim Sanderson calls "behavioral issues" with coyotes. As everybody knows, rich people don't like anything that gets in the way of...well, their way.
Now, you might be surprised to learn this- I guess old Jim certainly was- but no matter how much dough you might have to back you up, you can't just do away with the nature that surrounds you. (Hmmm...or can you?) And in Colorado- which, again, may surprise you- there is still a lot of wilderness, although developers and real estate tycoons have been doing their damnest to eliminate it. (Keep reading, it gets worse) Some of the refugees from this "progress" include bears, fox, various birds and coyotes. These animals have been losing their habitat over a period of decades, because people like Jim Sanderson feel they need to erect huge, cavernous mansions with three car garages and Kentucky Blue Grass front lawns which require A LOT of watering to have great views of the mountains and advertise to all of their equally rich and one-dimensional friends their WEALTH and IMPORTANCE. Sure, they may have a lap dog or two, and maybe they even go up to Aspen or Vail every now and again, to enjoy the outdoors and visit the housekeepers in their second homes...but other than for displaying their financial standing, nature and animal life doesn't really matter to these people. The entire town of Greenwood Village is fake. It's filled with expensive chain steakhouses, obscenely priced spas and a lot of people who really do care whether their kid is featured on the society pages for being a debutante. (For you folks playing at home, this is like a pretend royal party, where 16-year-old girls wear crowns and their parents pretend that they are celebrities and that other people are as interested in this as they are).
I know, it's 2009 and we're in the midst of a recession. But you wouldn't know it in Greenwood Village. There, Jimmy "Coyote-whisperer" Sanderson has not only hired a company called Animal Damage Control Wildlife Management Services to come and kill as many coyotes as they can find (for $200 an hour), he defends it by saying that he doesn't want all of the coyotes killed, just the ones with "behavioral issues." As if ole Jimmy would know what that even meant. He and his wife are self-important ignoramuses who flaunt themselves around town, joining the boards of every cultural group that will have them in a desperate attempt to show how much they CARE about people and the arts. Why, the Sandersons even have TWO daughters who were debutantes! I mean, it really doesn't get much more important than that, does it? So, of course, Jim is concerned about psychologically imbalanced coyotes. And anyway, what do wildlife officials know about wildlife? They suggest keeping one's lap dogs inside at night and on leashes if they are ever walked by one of the servants...But no, Jim Sanderson says that bad things could happen if they don't kill the animals! He predicts that they will come back for blood, unless the killing company gets to set torturous traps and shoot randomly.
But Jim wasn't counting on all of the protesters. The American Humane Society has written about this disgrace. People from all over the country have been writing letters to the local papers and even the New York Times has picked up the story. Is this really the kind of publicity that Greenwood Village wants? I personally won't spend any money at any business there until this aboniation is rescinded. The plain facts are these: If you purposely and willfully chose to live in a semi-wild area of a semi-wild state, then you also accepted the fact that you would be surrounded by wilderness, which, often, presents some risks. If you want relative safety from coyotes, maybe you should have considered Manhattan or Orange County. The point is, Jim Sanderson and Greenwood Village have everything backwards. They, unlike other cities across the country, including Chicago, are not choosing to work with nature. They are fighting against it. In their attempts to be rich and fabulous, they have reached a point of complete incivility.
I am sure that Jim and his ilk will go on thinking that killing innocent animals is ok as long as the animals pose their town the slightest inconvenience. He and his wife will go on sipping cocktails at galas and acting as though they are sophisticates. In the end, giving $20K to the opera and pretending you know anything about ballet doesn't erase the fact that you condone senseless killing. Inside, the leadership of Greenwood Village are fearful, petty, power hungry cowards. Without their money, they would be nothing. In the end, then, the question will be, how much is your conscience worth?
Enjoy that next debutante ball, Jim. And who knows? Maybe you can start a foundation for coyotes with behavioral issues.
